You're probably wrong

Most of you probably watch football. There might be a few of you who are from Canada and consider any sport not played on ice to be laughably easy but for the rest of you, football is probably a part of routine. OK maybe some of you don't like the violence or just don't like watching sports, but even you have probably been dragged into spending like 3 and a half hours of your perfectly good fall sunday in front of someone's tv watching men hit their heads against other men's heads.

Now think about those football games, and think about how much time they spent slowing down the play to watch and try and see when someone was in or out of bounds, or worse, if something was or was not caught. They go frame by frame and the screens so fuzzy you can't tell anything and they do it for like 20 minutes. Now I want you to close your eyes and think about a time when this happened and it was controversial. Maybe you were watching it with people who supported opposing teams and they thought opposite things. The Cowboys fan thought it was clearly a catch, and the Packers fan thought Dez obviously dropped it. The Pats fan thought Clement was out of bounds but the Eagles fan insists Corey was in (Corey is the cutest NFL player in the league, fight me).

Gorgeous

I mean, people are still arguing about those two plays, and they happened years ago! They happened years ago and they were reviewed endlessly and then people who wear zebra print shirts as their job told you what happened, and people STILL argue about it. And it doesn't even really matter. Like, if one of the refs came and said that they got it wrong... NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. And you looked at it like 100 times and no one agrees. No one would agree no matter what, because no one cares whats right or wrong, we just care if we do well.

Now think about Ultimate frisbee. Think about the last game you played in. No wait, think about the last time you saw someone get mad at a call, especially an in out call. OK that's probably the last game you played, but still. Think about all the crazy things people do to try and justify their point in Ultimate. Like 90% of all the games are played without real lines, just cones marking end zone corners that were walked to by someone with uneven steps over bumpy ground so even the pretend lines we are imagining aren't straight. And people will still go to those pretend lines on the ground and point to a divot nearby the imaginary line (on a field full of fucking divots) and go "see, I was in!". And the opponent goes over and points to a different divot and goes "no, you're out!" And both people stand their and argue for a while and they get mad about it and you know the disc is just going back anyways so why are they taking so much time. UGHHHHH.

(side note: Frisbee was invented by a bunch of drunk Yalies who were throwing around a pie tin, and they made rules cause they're nerds who went to Yale. That's why we do things like "send it back" instead of every other sport that has actual consequences for fouls. That's also why they're weren't refs; cause college students aren't gonna ref beer pong tournament let alone a goofy pie tin game. Next time someone tells you how important the rules of Ultimate are, hit them with a Whamo)

This sports a joke

Anyways, my point is, next time you're in a frisbee game and there's an in out call or a foul call and its contentious, remember all those football games where, with all the slow mo and the refs and the guys in New York reffing the refs, they still don't know. Stop being a jerk, admit you don't know what the rules are and you haven't the foggiest idea where your foot actually was, and then send it back. You were probably wrong anyways.

Gale S. Shirax ~ Intern